I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
