I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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