wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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