Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
