Everything about him screamed your future.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Your cock deserves a montage
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
