just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Holy sore nipples Batman
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
