I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
