I'm really into asian looking animals
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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