i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize