I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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