sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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