But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
