Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
