Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
