Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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