whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
