Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I licked your asshole in confidence.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
