How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
