peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
