does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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