wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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