well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
