When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
