There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
