well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
