So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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