I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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