How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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