My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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