i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
