even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
