the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
well you can't waste a boner
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
