Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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