I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
