Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
