I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
