when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Let's paint friendship bongs
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
FUCK WHALES
I had to cum in my sink.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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