About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
