using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
a search helicopter?!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
