I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
