you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
