....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
