We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
