YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
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