I think I died a long time ago.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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