i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
