Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
