Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
so much tequila, so little girl.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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