She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
