I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
